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<p>警惕夸獎(jiǎng)不當(dāng)?shù)暮蠊?/p><p>　　★楠楠把紅棗從盤(pán)子里一顆一顆往外拿，邊拿邊數(shù)：“1、2、3……”媽媽高興地夸獎(jiǎng)：“兒子會(huì)數(shù)數(shù)了，好棒��！”聽(tīng)到媽媽的贊揚(yáng)，楠楠美滋滋地又?jǐn)?shù)開(kāi)了。其實(shí)，這樣籠統(tǒng)地夸獎(jiǎng)孩子意思不大，他并不清楚自己的什么行為得到了鼓勵(lì)，聽(tīng)過(guò)幾次之后就興致全無(wú)了。好的方式要這樣說(shuō)：“你能從1數(shù)到20了，進(jìn)步可真大呀！”這是把對(duì)孩子的夸獎(jiǎng)具體化，針對(duì)他數(shù)數(shù)的具體行為，就事論事夸獎(jiǎng)他努力克服困難的表現(xiàn)，幫助他建立自信心。</p> <p>　　自信心是在征服了一些較難做的事之后產(chǎn)生的。幼兒的成長(zhǎng)道路上會(huì)有許多困難和障礙，具體地夸獎(jiǎng)他的某一個(gè)好的行為，可以使他明白克服了一個(gè)困難，就能有新的進(jìn)步。同時(shí)他會(huì)慢慢體會(huì)到，父母更關(guān)注他的學(xué)習(xí)過(guò)程，更重視他是否努力了，進(jìn)而會(huì)從你的夸獎(jiǎng)中得到更多的鼓勵(lì)和自信，勇敢地面對(duì)今后更多的挑戰(zhàn)。</p> <p>　　★淘氣的龍龍玩完了汽車大戰(zhàn)的游戲后，沒(méi)有像往常那樣撒手不管，任房間一片狼藉，他把大大小小的汽車都收進(jìn)柜子里。媽媽大聲夸獎(jiǎng)?wù)f：“寶貝，你真是個(gè)好孩子，乖孩子！”媽媽的本意是強(qiáng)化兒子自覺(jué)收拾東西的好行為，但說(shuō)得不明確。應(yīng)該直接指出他做的事是多么珍貴，他有能力把自己的事情做好。</p> <p>　　比如這樣說(shuō)：“今天你把房間收拾得真干凈，我為你的進(jìn)步驕傲！”，這既有針對(duì)性地夸獎(jiǎng)了孩子的好行為，幫助他懂得今后應(yīng)該怎樣做；又有意識(shí)地選擇孩子剛萌發(fā)出的優(yōu)點(diǎn)的苗頭來(lái)夸獎(jiǎng)，使他能逐漸鞏固和強(qiáng)化偶發(fā)的良好行為。</p> <p>　　有針對(duì)性和選擇性地夸獎(jiǎng)孩子，是一門(mén)教育的藝術(shù)。熟練地運(yùn)用這門(mén)藝術(shù)，不僅可以激勵(lì)孩子，還能夠向孩子傳達(dá)了一些很重要的信息。如讓亂扔玩具的龍龍明白：自覺(jué)整理好玩具、保持房間的整潔是好的行為。這樣運(yùn)用適宜的夸獎(jiǎng)，可以讓愛(ài)磨蹭的孩子變得動(dòng)作麻利，讓膽小的孩子變得勇敢，讓無(wú)規(guī)矩的孩子變得有禮貌。</p> <p>　　警惕夸獎(jiǎng)不當(dāng)?shù)暮蠊?/p> <p>　　小孩子都喜歡被人夸獎(jiǎng)、被人贊美。心理學(xué)家威廉詹姆斯說(shuō)：“人性中最深切的渴望就是擁有他人的賞識(shí)�！鼻‘�(dāng)而適度的夸獎(jiǎng)，可以肯定和強(qiáng)化孩子的好品行，讓其獲得愉悅的心理體驗(yàn)，從而建立起自信和自尊。</p> <p>　　培養(yǎng)幼兒的自信、自尊和積極的自我意識(shí)，是形成健康心理和人格的核心。成人對(duì)幼兒的認(rèn)可和夸獎(jiǎng)，可以促使他形成積極的自我意識(shí)和自信心，體驗(yàn)到成功的快樂(lè)，感受到自我的尊嚴(yán)和價(jià)值，從而讓身心和諧愉快地發(fā)展。</p> <p>　　我們也應(yīng)該看到夸獎(jiǎng)作為教育幼兒的一種手段，在父母的廣泛運(yùn)用中存在一些不當(dāng)?shù)膯?wèn)題，并且造成了越來(lái)越多的不良后果。比如：</p> <p>　　皮皮的父母對(duì)他非常溺愛(ài)，平常無(wú)論他的行為對(duì)與錯(cuò)，父母總是哄著他說(shuō)：“我家寶寶最乖了�！薄澳阏媛�(tīng)話�！逼てぷ晕乙庾R(shí)很強(qiáng)，對(duì)這樣的話根本不理會(huì)，經(jīng)常我行我素耍性子，缺乏自制能力。在幼兒園他很不合群，對(duì)各種活動(dòng)參與熱情不高，不愛(ài)動(dòng)腦筋。</p> <p>　　皮皮的問(wèn)題就在于父母的夸獎(jiǎng)太廉價(jià)。他們嘴上時(shí)刻掛著夸獎(jiǎng)的話，不論孩子做了什么，做得對(duì)與錯(cuò)，一律是“真好”、“真聰明”、“真乖”的贊賞。時(shí)間長(zhǎng)了，孩子對(duì)父母毫無(wú)目的廉價(jià)夸獎(jiǎng)無(wú)動(dòng)于衷，談不上獲得榮譽(yù)感，也不會(huì)珍惜，反而阻礙了獨(dú)立精神的培養(yǎng)。</p> <p>　　做父母的應(yīng)該懂得，人的心理往往是越容易得到的東西越不會(huì)引起重視和珍惜。幼兒也是如此，不經(jīng)過(guò)努力便得到的夸獎(jiǎng)是廉價(jià)的，對(duì)他起不到激勵(lì)的作用，有時(shí)還會(huì)產(chǎn)生為了夸獎(jiǎng)去做事、你不夸獎(jiǎng)我就不做的錯(cuò)誤意識(shí)。更可怕的是，不適當(dāng)?shù)目洫?jiǎng)不僅起不到教育作用，還會(huì)使幼兒的人格發(fā)生扭曲。出現(xiàn)以下人格傾向：</p> <p>　　A、悅?cè)诵腿烁瘛Ｓ變嚎偸前寻职謰寢尞?dāng)成“權(quán)威”，父母的評(píng)價(jià)和態(tài)度是他們自我評(píng)價(jià)的主要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。父母不適宜的夸獎(jiǎng)和無(wú)針對(duì)性夸獎(jiǎng)，會(huì)使他以成人的好惡標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，來(lái)調(diào)節(jié)自己的行為，為了獲得更多的夸獎(jiǎng)，搞一些小名堂來(lái)取悅父母，長(zhǎng)此以往容易形成悅?cè)诵偷娜烁駜A向。這種�！翱磩e人眼色行事”的孩子獨(dú)立性差，缺乏辨別是非的能力，遇事不自信，常被別人的態(tài)度與評(píng)價(jià)左右自己的情緒。</p> <p>　　B、追求完美型人格。有些父母對(duì)孩子的夸獎(jiǎng)過(guò)多過(guò)濫，讓孩子覺(jué)得自己比別人都強(qiáng)，事事都要拔尖爭(zhēng)“第一”，不允許別人超過(guò)自己，也不允許自己失敗，聽(tīng)到別人受表?yè)P(yáng)就生氣，看見(jiàn)自己比別人差就發(fā)脾氣。這種只能聽(tīng)表?yè)P(yáng)不能聽(tīng)批評(píng)的爭(zhēng)強(qiáng)好勝性格，是一種追求完美的人格傾向。有這種人格傾向的孩子，過(guò)分追求完美，忍受不了生活中的挫折，今后他們會(huì)活得很累，活得不輕松、不幸福。</p> <p>　　那么如何既強(qiáng)化幼兒良好的行為，同時(shí)又能避免夸獎(jiǎng)不當(dāng)造成的弊端呢？除了上面強(qiáng)調(diào)的夸獎(jiǎng)內(nèi)容要具體、要有針對(duì)性、注意過(guò)程取向外，家長(zhǎng)還應(yīng)該注意避免與其他幼兒的比較。有的家長(zhǎng)在夸獎(jiǎng)孩子時(shí)，常說(shuō)：“你比隔壁的亮亮聰明多了。”“你是班上最漂亮的。”在此影響下，幼兒不由自主地形成與別人比較的習(xí)慣，徒增了一些不必要的煩惱和壓力。所以家長(zhǎng)夸獎(jiǎng)孩子應(yīng)該讓他自己和自己的進(jìn)步比，才能讓他獲得快樂(lè)和自信。</p> <p>　　海倫凱勒說(shuō)過(guò)：你一旦有了高飛的沖動(dòng)，就絕不甘于在地上爬行。家長(zhǎng)適當(dāng)?shù)目洫?jiǎng)，可以幫助孩子看到自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和優(yōu)勢(shì)，激起他奮力向上高飛的勇氣。讓我們多給孩子注入一些成長(zhǎng)的動(dòng)力吧！</p><script>s("content_relate");</script><p>【警惕夸獎(jiǎng)不當(dāng)?shù)暮蠊肯嚓P(guān)文章：</p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.oriental01.com/fenxianghulianwang/hanyucidian/20140514000000_1046067.html" title="夸獎(jiǎng)">夸獎(jiǎng)</a><span>04-29</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.oriental01.com/fenxianghulianwang/hanyucidian/20140510000000_1041760.html" title="后果">后果</a><span>04-30</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.oriental01.com/fenxianghulianwang/hanyucidian/20140513000000_1044812.html" title="警惕">警惕</a><span>04-30</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.oriental01.com/youxiuzuowen/8011030.html" title="亂跑的后果">亂跑的后果</a><span>02-26</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.oriental01.com/zuowen/xiaoxuesheng/20090913182236_135279.html" 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